I lit a candle at 2 PM today. Not because I needed ambiance or because I’m hosting a séance — I just had emails to answer, and the candle felt like a more manageable vibe.
This got me thinking: when does self-care become a highly creative form of procrastination? Where’s the line between treating myself and gaslighting myself into thinking I deserve a break when I’ve done literally nothing all day?
The Self-Care Excuses We All Know and Love
We’ve all been there. Laundry piling up? Bubble bath time. Work deadline looming? Perfect moment to start a 12-step skincare routine you saw on TikTok. Bills to pay? Let’s research the best teas for ‘inner peace.’
Somewhere along the way, self-care went from "taking care of yourself so you can function like a semi-responsible human" to "curating a personal spa experience every time mild discomfort knocks on your door."
Is it relaxing? Absolutely. Is it productive? Not even a little.
Rebranding Avoidance Since 2020
To be fair, the world collectively agreed that survival itself deserved a gold star in recent years. Self-care became the unofficial mascot of modern adulthood — which was great, until I realized I’d weaponized it against my own productivity.
Suddenly, every mildly stressful moment became a reason to "pause and reset." What was I resetting from? Loading the dishwasher? Writing a single email? Blinking too hard? Who knows, but I was halfway through a face mask before I could answer.
My To-Do List is Crying in the Corner
Here’s the thing: real self-care sometimes does mean doing the boring stuff — replying to that email, paying that bill, finally calling the dentist even though you'd rather fight a bear. Because future me, the one who doesn’t have a stack of overdue tasks threatening her sense of peace, deserves some care too.
But try telling that to present me, who’s somehow halfway into making an elaborate smoothie bowl because “hydration is key.” (It’s not even a hot day. Who am I?)
Self-Care or Procrastination? A Quick Quiz
Let’s play a quick game to see where your latest self-care moment lands on the spectrum:
Did you light a candle before writing an email? Self-care.
Did you light five candles, rearrange your bookshelf by color, and meditate for 45 minutes while ignoring the email entirely? Procrastination in a cozy outfit.
Did you convince yourself that cleaning your entire bathroom was "essential to your creative process"? We’ve all been there.
Did you start a 3-hour deep-dive into which houseplant thrives on neglect right after remembering you owe your landlord rent? That’s a cry for help disguised as self-care, babe.
Self-Care and Getting Stuff Done Can Coexist (Allegedly)
The dream is to find some balance — where you can do the things you need to do without immediately spiraling into a self-care justification spiral. Some days, self-care really is that face mask and an aggressively large glass of water. Other days, it’s forcing yourself to file your taxes so they stop haunting your dreams.
I’m not saying you need to become a productivity robot who eats stress for breakfast. But maybe — just maybe — we could all work on not using self-care as a glittery excuse to avoid doing literally anything remotely adult-like.
Besides, lighting a candle after sending the email hits different. Trust me.
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